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Shame is at the foundation of every compulsive, self-
It is at the root of all addictions. It drives behavior as an attempt to cover up the hidden core of shame.
Feelings need to be kept secret, as do thoughts and behaviors of their families and themselves. A great deal of energy is expended in the effort to hide shame.
Shame manifests itself in addictions.
The addiction can be for alcohol, drugs, food, sex, television, work, shopping, exercise, relationships, gambling, adrenaline, and control, for example.
The addiction serves to temporarily relive anxiety, stress, feelings of powerlessness, avoid true feelings, problems and intimacy.
Addictions are unhealthy mechanisms that keep one from feeling their true feelings. The deeper the pain inside the more it pervades every aspect of their lives and the more the need to numb the pain through addiction. The pain is strong and frightening and many times takes more than one addiction to deny and hide the pain.
Over the years of hiding their true selves they no longer know who they really are.
They become two people -
Beneath the surface lies the fear of abandonment, guilt, shame, and identity and intimacy problems. Above the surface we see the symptoms manifested in various addictions.
~ In Christ, Dr. Kim West
Continue to Part 3 -
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