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Your spouse is a very accurate marriage mirror. Look closely and you will see the good, bad and ugly in yourself. You will see where you are warm and tender and where you are selfish and uncompromising. Your marriage will mirror where you look like Christ and where you don’t and if you will just look He will show you where He wants to work on you.
The problem is that many of us look past what is reflected about us to see the failings of our spouse. If s/he would just change then the marriage would be good, right? It isn’t you; it’s your spouse that has the problem.
As a marriage counselor I have yet to see a couple come in where both partners don’t need to work on themselves as well as the marriage.
It IS difficult to look at those things about yourself that are not pleasant but it is the perfect way to start growing and becoming a person that you like when you look in the mirror.
The marriage mirror will also show you what is good and right in you. In the mirror do you see how you have changed, grown and have become more loving and patient? Celebrate it. You (and I) are a work in progress and it is encouraging to see how we are growing. Christ does not leave us the way we were but is committed to transforming us to be more like Him and He is using our marriages as a vehicle to that growth.
When you see that there is still much growth to come, don’t step back in discouragement. Don’t feel guilt or shame about those places that don’t resemble His nature. Instead, get excited. Really? Yes, here are places that you can partner with the Lord to change. Here are places that you will look at down the road and see the difference and growth.
What God shows you is an invitation to become more like Him, more like His nature.
Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness and self-
What do you see that needs to be healed and changed? Pick one thing and bring it to the Lord. Let Him show you where and why this is in you. Join with Him to change it then start on the next thing in the mirror. As you do you will start to see a new, more like Christ you in the mirror in your marriage.
~ In Christ, Dr. Kim West
I have always been delighted at the prospect of a new day, a fresh try, one more start, with perhaps a bit of magic waiting somewhere behind the morning.
J. B. Priestley
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