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Marge had lived off of my elderly mom for 18 months. Originally she moved in when mom was still recovering from surgery. At first she cooked and made sure she took her medications and then it changed.
Marge moved in her pregnant daughter and illegal alien son-
After six months and $13,000 out of mom’s pocket the daughter and son-
I continued to warn her. Mom assured me Marge was looking for a job strangely she was never able to find one. Mom paid for Marge’s doctor, prescriptions, storage fees, food (and she bought very expensive food), and every other need. Marge got her to spend money on all sorts of things. Marge kept taking loans from mom and now owes thousands of dollars. She started using mom’s car and took over her cell phone. Marge moved in and took over mom’s life.
Finally, in October 2008 mom called me and said I was right, she believed this woman was using her and wanted her to move out. At this same time Marge was calling a realtor to see how much mom’s house was worth. We found documents in Marge's handwriting to transfer large amounts of money from mom's equity into her checking. Mom signed the bottom and the transfer was made. Supporting Marge was expensive but she saw to it that the funds were there for her to use.
I kept calling and asking if Marge was moving. Mom said Marge had no where to go and I told her that was not her problem. She said Marge didn’t have a job and again I told her it was not her responsibility. Marge always had an excuse and manipulation for my tender-
Two weeks later, my mom was in a small car accident. We thought it might be a stroke but it turned out to be brain cancer. In the hospital she told me to help her get Marge out. She said I had been right all along and that Marge was using her.
Now, with only weeks left for mom to live Marge was finally leaving and that took a social worker to threaten her with police action. Of course, Marge claims she is the victim here after all she has done for my mom we are throwing her out.
Elderly people are targeted by people like Marge and easily manipulated. They pretend to be caring and even embrace them into their family. They know exactly what they are doing and do it very well. Mom believed that Marge was her friend until it was too late.
I set up a room in our house and hospice care for mom. Thanks to Marge there was not enough left for me to pay someone to help me care for her. I had to work and care for my dying mother as Marge moved on with no consequences.
If you suspect elder abuse then call social services immediately. Don't wait like I did. Get those who are expert at detecting elder abuse in on the situation. It may be that you are wrong but what if you are right?
Physical abuse. Use of physical force that may result in bodily injury, physical pain, or impairment.
Sexual Abuse. Non-
Emotional abuse. Infliction of anguish, pain, or distress through verbal or non-
Financial/material exploitation. Illegal or improper use of an elder's funds, property, or assets.
Neglect. Refusal, or failure, to fulfill any part of a person?s obligations or duties to an elderly person.
Abandonment. Desertion of an elderly person by an individual who has physical custody of the elder or by a person who has assumed responsibility for providing care to the elder.
National Center on Elder Abuse
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After caring for mom until she went to be with the Lord I wrote a book on how to care for the dying. I pray that it will be helpful and a blessing to others caring for a dying loved one.
~ In Christ, Dr. Kim West